Self-Love

Photo Credit: Ruche

The other day in yoga class, the teacher suggested that we offer the first half of our practice to someone in our life who helps us to know the value of love. In that moment, I was torn, I immediately thought of many people who make me want to feel and show love. I felt blessed knowing that I was lucky enough to have an abundance of people to chose from. Then in the second half of class she suggested we offer the remainder of our practice to the things we love about ourselves. I was completely stumped. It was so easy for me to think of the people in my life who I feel truly loved by and who make it easy to give love to, but I could not come up with one specific thing about myself that I wanted to give love to. 

I have been told by magazines, self help books, and my mother to love myself, but I am starting to wonder what that really entails. For the majority of my life, self-love has simply meant tolerance of what I perceive to be my flaws. I am tolerant of my love handles, partially wavy-partially straight hair, and calves that will never fit into standard boots. I have accepted that my low SAT scores, GPA and salary are not indicators of my worth. I would never go as far as to say that I love these things, instead I've always thought I loved myself in spite of these things, but that day, on my yoga mat, I couldn't think of one thing about myself that was worth my own love. So I immediately put myself on a mission to change my view on self-love and develop a healthier relationship with myself. 

I've had a hard time coming up with concrete things about myself that are worth loving, my laundry list of personal flaws is so ingrained in my mind that they pepper any list of traits I make about myself. Instead I've been trying to define what loving someone else entails so I can try to apply those things to myself. The biggest factors I've come up with are: trust, comfort, freedom of expression, humor, kindness, generosity and respect. Going with my gut, trust. Giving up my seat on the bus, kindness. Telling a joke, humor. Taking a risk and writing this blog, self expression. When I participate in all of these things I am practicing self love. Realizing that practicing self love doesn't mean having unwavering confidence and is so much more than treating myself to bubble baths and mani-pedis, has given me a new found sense of confidence in my ability to love myself. In knowing that I can love myself, I am now free to give love to everyone else.